Yesterday I spent a full day with my little ones, a 7-month old baby and a 3 years old toddler on my own. We had breakfast and lunch together, took turn to feed just because my toddler emulated her baby brother. We rode on a bus to catch ballet taster class and visited the dentist. Life simple pleasure, we played with Elsa’s helium balloon on the field and enjoyed lollipop under uncertain weather. Despite drizzling rain, we walked a kilometre home and talked about everything we saw. Back home, we built a house in a house and travelled on imaginary air plane to Peppa Pig world. Tagged along with my confused cute toddler who jumbled words between yesterday, next week, tomorrow and Sunday, it was an exciting day.
But, alas, that which glitters is not always gold. What I took away was a great day overall. A day that countermanded 3 toddler tantrums and frustration of an overwhelmed tired baby. The rush madness running after a bus with a toddler and a baby in buggy, crying children on the bus, losing a toddler’s shoe under the rain, and aching wrists from pushing buggy on one hand. These are incidents behind the scenes that were quickly forgotten. After 10 cry-cuddles along the way, I find myself missing a noisy home today.
For a fun day with mommy, it is a full time job that consumes my mental and physical energies. Much harder than work, I could have sat them down and watch TV. Instead, my guilt took over telling me that I haven’t done enough. A little voice saying that this moment shall pass and I will forever regret for not doing more.
For the first time in many months, I was dozing off by 9.30pm, an hour after putting them to bed. Then, I realised I’ve overestimated workaholic definition and my professional career for over 2 decades. For mothers who think they are missing out from the outside world, it is the inside world that runs by faster than we think. Inside world that are significant and capable of strengthening bonds and imprinting childhood memories. In a flash, they’d be waving goodbye at us chasing after ‘more’ interesting milestone.
“I can imagine no heroism greater than motherhood.”
—Lance Conrad, “The Price of Creation”
I’m having difficulty liking your posts. I just went to my mom’s grave as well. My husband’s, also. All the different feelings we get!
Ahh how come there is trouble liking my post? Glad you drop by with your feedback. Different feelings we get because we are living in the moment. There is not enough time to comprehend how we feel.