November 2023.

November 2023 is surely a month to remember. My brother and his wife on the other side of world are expecting their first child. My brother-in-law and his wife are expecting their second child. Difference by a week, one after another, my partner and I are expecting our baby number 2 at the end of the month. Yep, second baby is on the way. What are the odds of having both sides of family having children within the same month?

Anxiety arises as I cruise into my maternity leaves this week. Didn’t know the gender, my partner and I planned for a once-in-a-lifetime surprise since eight and the half months ago. The wait is finally coming to an end. Some say that second child birth would be easier as we’ve seen pretty much from our firstborn experience. Regardless, I am feeling anxious not about the above, but for being vary over how my first child would react and accept a sibling in her life. Baby gender doesn’t bother me, conceiving a child is already a blessing.

Anticipating baby’s arrival, I prepared my firstborn about her sibling arrival from six months ago. Everyday, I spend time explaining about my growing belly and study her reaction towards this new knowledge I planted. I am more self-aware than ever. Grew up in a family with three other siblings, I must say siblings relationship can be complicated subject to parents doing. Jealousy and competitiveness are not to be underestimated. Often, I question if I am providing enough affection to my firstborn. Have I been demanding towards a two-year old that might have led to resentment?

More importantly, can my firstborn see my fairness when there is little possibility for me to showcase all the love and sacrifices I made before this? Can I fill the voids that my parents couldn’t before?

November
Photo by Chris Lawton

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