Two months since my last post. To track how often I write these days is more dreadful than measuring the gap in between posts. Indeed, I am trying my very best to regain my career momentum amidst juggling motherhood. Career after maternity leave, here’s the ugly truth.
I re-joined workforce in March this year after a year out-of-business. It didn’t feel like a year, considering the crazy routine life I accustomed to ‘eat, sleep, play, repeat‘ that I lost track of time. I laterally took on a new role out of free-will for a fresh start. From business brand management to e-commerce management, I am counting on this opportunity to feel alive again. Easing back to work took a fair amount of time and discipline in adapting to ‘new mother who works‘ life. Work is back. Nursery is new. Pick-up and drop-off on time are a part of daily life. Efficiency and effectiveness are key in getting rid of after-work work habit.
Time wait for no one. Self-management gets me organised and helps in making everything better. Failing to do so makes me crumble. Just as infamous actor said:
Do not let circumstances control you. You change your circumstances.
Jackie Chan
Well, at least for factors that are within my control. A year out-of-business is a long time from career perspective. Company evolves, colleagues move on or move up, new faces, new competition, and new way of working all matter in rebuilding career momentum. Resetting my life and career in a new country and restarting my life again being a new mother through pandemic with continuous three years career plateau, where do I begin? Objectively, all I need is patience. Subjectively, the feelings of vulnerability and intimidation at workplace have been firing up since returning to workforce.
The fear of missing out (or already missed out) makes me feel that I’m constantly behind on a queue. How fast can I accelerate and get back on track? I am ambitious, fiery, and I want to climb the corporate ladder. But, those are just my inner screams. I lost a year to settling in, another year to Covid, and another year to being a mother. Three years of career plateau and now another year or more to proof my credentials. The world waits for no one. Here I am, working assertively and waiting patiently for that one glory moment to strike someday.
I can now understand why some mothers gave up the workforce upon returning and became entrepreneurs. Because the world just doesn’t see their presence as well as before. There is just too much to rebuild that might as well they rebuild something for themselves. I often hear, unfortunately, it is what it is. Is this an apologetic sign from the world?
Indeed, being a mother is personal, a game changer, and a self-legacy initiative. Being a mother teaches me to see the world in many perspectives. Bringing up a little human takes courage, patience, determination, and dedication. It makes me understand human and withstand unpredictable challenges thrown at me. Having said that, those are the values I appreciate and meant nothing to the corporate world. Whilst maternity leaves granted are fortunate for mothers, the aftermath can be mentally stressful. It’s a choice a mother would need to make. Have anyone thought of that and is anyone doing anything about it? My little devil whisperer says: “Here you go, these are the maternity leaves benefits. Take them, but don’t think about having a promotion until you reprove yourself again.”
According to NCT UK, only 13% of women were promoted or upgraded their jobs within five years of having a child. It bothers me that I have to rework my way up the ladder post-maternity. What happened to those credentials pre-maternity? Don’t they matter? It bothers me that the world moves on and I’m a year wiser, but not my career. It bothers me that I am constantly overwhelmed with guilts. Guilty of taking a year off after having a child, guilty that having a child is like a career punishment, guilty that I strive to have the best of both worlds. It bothers me to think twice about having another child. If not now, then when? When would be a good time to having a family? Upon receiving the promotion I want or maybe when I retire?
Here comes my final thoughts. What is sustainability that everyone is debating about if all women have to think twice about having a child for that would mean giving up a part of unassessed competencies? What is the impact to population sustainability if all women finally decided to quit reproduction and focus on career instead? Maybe I am exaggerating with extremes because there are women out there who are still willing to go through such struggles like me just to make a difference.
Why do we have to choose?
