After months being away from work, I’m beginning to feel pinches of isolation. Weeks prior to maternity, a few colleagues echoed to keep in touch informally whenever possible. Warmth was felt and honestly, it felt good to know there’re people from work who care. Eight months down the line, didn’t know I was massively forgotten.
Never expect a relationship to have any development when there isn’t any effort and time invested on it.
My coach used to tell me that. Moved to London since two years ago and started work right away, I hadn’t had a chance to meet anyone outside of work due to pandemic. It was difficult to build everything from scratch in the new norm let alone social life. On rare occasion, I was hoping to find some friendship from work circle. Then, there came remote working that do little help – after back-to-back Zoom calls, the last thing anyone wants is to jump into another call with another colleague talking about anything except work. Despite that, I managed to build a few.
Call me naive or desperate, I thought I did.
After six months when life with little one became manageable, I realised I heard nothing from anyone at work, including the ones whom I thought were my buddies. My effort in making contact attempts was fruitless as I could feel their rush in trying to end every conversation. To be fair, everyone has a busy life. I reflected the good times we used to share about work and non-work related stories, do they actually matter? Perhaps, I’ve got it all wrong. I have nothing left to trade since maternity and no longer a priority. Perhaps I have spent my effort and time on unworthy people.
It’s sad how quickly people can forget about you, until they want something from you.
– Daily Inspirational Quotes
The thing is, possibility of a friendship exists only if we pour effort and time into building one. Well, I didn’t make enough time to maintain a relationship. Likewise, the other party too. A fairly newbie on a foreign-land, making friends isn’t as easy as I thought. Not to mention connecting with like-minded individuals and now having to check if anyone would mind me bringing my baby along for a meet-up.
Massively forgotten, I wish motherhood is not as lonely as many have described. Thankfully I have this blog to reflect how it has been for me. Despite daunting (even when writing about it), I look forward to rebuilding my social life with more genuine friends. I believe there is always a life after birth, just a different social life from before with more effort.
