The forgotten gratitude.

Have you been wasting your time on people who don’t deserve your time all these years? Perhaps you have been chasing for a place within a sought-after community or craving for attention that no one cares giving it to you? Perhaps self-development is never about elevating yourself but for the sake of pleasing others and fitting in? Focusing on how others perceive you, you spend so much time adjusting yourself to fit in place that you never belong and overlooking people who truly cares. Since pandemic when many struggled to sustain a living, I have my fair bit of struggles. I learned through the hard way. One of the few include “the forgotten gratitude“.

Keeping up with society is a tough job. The need to feel belong to a community means something. Before, it was all about community at schools, colleges, universities, workplaces and societies of interest where we could find belongingness physically. We build trust with people over time with things we do together and sometimes, we walk out with genuine friendships. Some say “childhood friends are the best“.

Today, social media runs the show. With a click, it’s easy to connect with people whom we know or probably a group of strangers whom we don’t know. For professional or non-professional reason, we pour effort into portraying the best version of ourselves on surface value in raising self-esteem. Self-esteem that is made out of addictive and superficial influencers we are connected with, number of followers, likes, and influences we gain. Because connecting is just a click away, it makes catching up in person becomes demanding, not to mention real friends.

The question is, is social media adequate to really know someone? Or the network built there is stronger than people that truly matters or friends we made during old times? Relationship requires nurturing – investment of our time and effort. Unfortunately, we had more time during younger years with lesser responsibilities. Easily carried away by today’s buzzing world plus dearly time, with whom we choose to spend our time with means a lot. Even a phone call can turn out meaningful. At least, it means a lot to me now.

Since the past two years when I landed on a foreign land, built my career from scratch, had difficult labor, went into depression, learned to cope with a newborn and motherhood life, and almost lost loved one to Covid, I came out of these difficulties supported by people who cared since old times. People whom I didn’t bother spending enough time and effort to nurture since I left town. I reflected since.

At the lowest time of my life, not many was able to support. People whom I prioritised turned out to be those who hadn’t put me on the forefront. Well, now I know.

“We may be young, but after what we’ve gone through, we’re also wise. We know what’s important. Many spend a lifetime and never learn that. – Tom Britfield”

― C.R. Stewart