On the edge.

Why are we afraid of expressing what we think or feel? Unmasking our true self is one of the hardest thing to do. Simply because we are concern about how others may perceive, react or judge on what we think or feel. We are also conscious over the implication of our actions on others. Subject to scrutiny by others, we would rather reserve our thoughts and feelings than spilling the truths. So, we sugarcoat, pretend everything is fine (when clearly we’re not!), and feels on the edge.

“I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you really want to throw a brick at.” – Begging – Banter Republic has said it very well.

I could totally resonate with his recent post. I wonder who is at fault, is it me or that someone I really want to throw a brick at?

Before children learn how to lie, they are an open book. They’ll tell you how they feel and trust their guts if they like or dislike you. There is no guilt over the embarrassment they caused to others. We’ve been there. But over the years, we learned that we are mature enough to think, capable enough to control our feelings, and have empathy towards others. Less childish, more emotional intelligence to prevent hurting others, so to speak.

Professionally, we can all agree that emotional intelligence is key to succeed at workplace (Bradberry for Forbes, 2015). I could use some emotional intelligence in my daily life for peace sake. Sadly, not everyone has it. It takes time to practise self-awareness and develop emotional intelligence. I suppose those who have emotional intelligence has the patience to withstand those who do not. Still, patience is not infinite and uncomfortness requires resolution, an effort to find peace in between. It takes two to tango.

Susceptible to others’ ignorant behaviours is mentally detrimental. Clever in suppressing emotions makes us look like we’re heavenly open minded and easy going when honestly, we’re not okay. Poker face, maybe? We care so much about what others think of us that sometimes we overlook or purposely ignore the need to address the underlie matter. It takes a toll on us, when we have to force a smile when we’re boiling inside and when we have to be nice to someone who continuously give us #$%^, all to prevent regrettable action on others.

Why do we have to put up with these? I mean, why should we tolerate the consequences alone and continuously let the other party get away with it? For money, for love, or for whatever the reason maybe, we ought to define our boundary regardless of personal or professional level. A level where we can flag enough is enough. A level in which the other party is made aware and feels humiliated for their own action. A level where lesson learned leads to mutual respect. A level where we can put a stop to the intimidation we’ve been abiding so that we can genuinely be who we are and stay true to our principles.

The question is, when do we start drawing a line?

Photo by Piyanut Suntaranil